Earlier this year I pulled my piriformis muscle and spent several days in significant pain. What helped me most was not just the painkillers. It was self-soothing. I found myself stroking the painful area, and the intensity genuinely reduced. Of course, I was generating oxytocin.

Oxytocin is sometimes called the bonding or cuddle hormone, but it is really a safety signal. It tells the nervous system: you are held, you belong, you are enough. It works in partnership with the parasympathetic (rest and digest) nervous system, helps cortisol levels fall, and loosens the frantic grab for excess food.

When we feel genuinely connected and safe, we eat less. Not through denial, but through sufficiency. The problem is that ultra-processed food gives us a fake oxytocin hit, activating our reward and soothing pathways. So when we reach for food at difficult moments, we may actually be reaching for safety, soothing and connection. The compassionate response is not willpower. It is asking: what does my body actually need right now?

There are many natural sources of oxytocin: touch (even just a hand on your own heart), eye contact, conversation, acts of kindness, music, laughter, playfulness, nature, beauty, craft activities, mindful colouring, and mindful eating itself when it is unhurried, present and enjoyable.

My challenge to you: stop worrying about food for a moment and find your oxytocin. What works for you?

Jo explores oxytocin, emotional eating and much more in her daily On the RAFT diary and the Foodsane training, available to members of the Foodsane community. Membership is £10/month with no contract. Join here.